Does Having Depression Make Me a Bad Friend?

Hi lovelies!

How are you all? The weather this week has been absolutely miserable, but I’m determined to not let it bring me down! 🙂

So, today I thought I’d speak about something that plays on my mind quite a lot. I’m pretty hyper-aware that my mental illness can make me appear unsociable, ignorant, and all-round shitty. I want to touch on some things depression causes me to do sometimes that can make me come across as a bad friend, when in reality I’m just struggling with my own mind and struggling to get through the day.

1.) I seem ignorant: I’m ashamed to admit this, but when I’m having a bad day it’s unlikely I will reply to your text for a good few days. I can’t even find the energy to get out of bed to go to the toilet, never mind help others with their problems or have a full blown conversation. It’s not about you – I’m just having a bad day and don’t really feel like talking at the moment.

2.) I’m irritable: Personally, when I’m having a depressed episode I am very, very irritable no matter who I’m dealing with. Quite frankly, I hate my personality when I’m depressed. I tend to be not very nice and I’m quite impatient and stubborn. I’m often in a careless attitude when I’m depressed (basically, I don’t give a shit about anything) so it’s hard to find patience to deal with people on a day-to-day basis. This is probably the thing I dislike the most that depression does to my personality.

3.) I’m flaky: I’d take a guess that this is the aspect of my depression that annoys my friends the most, which is completely understandable. When I’m depressed, it’s definitely not uncommon for me to miss out on plans due to not being able to get out of bed or feeling too self-conscious/anxious to see people. If I had the flu I probably wouldn’t leave the house to attend plans with my friends either, just a I don’t with depression. I’d say that’s the easiest way to understand it, as they’re both illnesses that leave you feeling crap and tired. I also find myself often agreeing to plans in advance when I’m having a good day, just to end up having to cancel on the day because I’m having a bad day with my depression. I understand how frustrating that is for my friends, but I try not to be so hard on myself about it as I’d understand if a friend cancelled on me due to their illness. It simply can’t be helped.

If there’s one thing I’d like my readers to take from this post, it’s that not everything is as it seems. It’s often easy to take things personally, when in fact it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes, people have to put themselves first in order to stay sane and get better. What use are we to someone when we can’t even function?

I’ve come to realise there’s absolutely no shame in taking some ‘me time’ in order to recharge and hopefully get better. It’s hard to be the best friend you can be when you’re not feeling good about yourself.

Lots of love,

Soph. xx

12 thoughts on “Does Having Depression Make Me a Bad Friend?

  1. I’m sure that you’re a great friend, and those who you are friends with will no doubt feel the same. Those who mind don’t matter, those that matter won’t mind.

    Looking after yourself is the right thing to do. You matter and your health matters. It’s also wonderful that you are blogging about your mental health.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know very well this feeling when you dont want to do anything and you barely have power to brush your hair and even dont, but i think you friends loves you no matte what, i have been thru a lot, i think its important to let people know, this way they can understand whats happening❤️Glad i found you here, because everything feels very familiar, good to find someone who can understand. English its not my first languages, i hope that you can understand my messy mess😁when i feel bad i’m trying ti dont meet people and i’m not answering phone, because i may say something bad, what i dont even mean, dont worry about answering, first goes YOUR health and good rest🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You’re so right and thanks for expressing your feeling about dealing with depression.

    I’ve been there, I’ve felt just like you felt. But, I learned that more than anything, I’ve got to take care of me first… and I let my friends know that as best I can.

    I’ll be even a worst friend if I am not taking care of me, before I can get back to taking care of them.

    Depression had put an “edge” on me that I didn’t have before. I call it a “protective edge” where I’m still the same nice person I’ve always been,

    I just an taking care of me and getting healthy again.

    Liked by 1 person

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